All I saw in the mirror was a person who could never manage her relationships; someone who chose to be a victim, felt sorry for herself, blamed life and also everyone around her, and had a big emptiness inside she could never fill even though she felt positive sometimes, and most importantly felt lonely and incomplete all the time.

Before calling Hakan, I was busy suffering since I didn’t understand the depth of the illusions I created as a result of my feelings of unworthiness. I tried to find myself in books; however, something was wrong because I failed to practice what I learnt from the books. I still remember what I used to tell myself: ‘You deserve a better life, and you deserve it now, not a minute later. You must do everything to achieve it; if need be, you will sacrifice buying many pairs of shoes or dresses etc, and stop going out at night for a time so that you will be able receive help for your situation.’ So I called Hakan whom I have come across coincidentally(!) for many times. And our journey began in a joyous way.

My life began to change and take a new shape just the way I wanted, beginning from our first meeting. I tried so hard, I cried so much and it really challenged me but I learnt in the end! I learnt how to love myself, an experience which I would not trade for any other. I made peace with myself. I accepted myself. I learnt how to really love people, accept them as they are and smile sincerely. In short, I created my own heaven through the help of Hakan and through my own choices. And as soon as I stopped doing my practices, I realized that I began to create my own hell. I know that all the power lies in the moment. Just make peace with yourself, love yourself and finally look inside; because there is everything you need there.

I thank you Hakan for being a friend on this beautiful path, helping me professionally to change my life and waiting patiently for me to discover my real self...

With Love,

Sena Ş., Istanbul - June 2012

Nothing turned out to be as I expected in my wedding and marriage process, which are the dreams of any girl and which should actually give a new direction to one’s life. The disturbing days were followed by the big disagreements which our families got involved after a point. I was even more disappointed when I finally got married. I started to think about divorcing in the first month of my marriage. That was when I decided to have sessions with Hakan whom I have been following for a time.

I had various kinds of questions before going to him; even though I read the comments of his counselees before, I decided to see him without having any expectations and I thought that I would at least give it a try.  While I thought I was totally right to question why I experienced things that I didn’t deserve, Hakan told me that I was responsible for everything in my life. Even though this was quite perplexing for me, I listened him without objecting and tried to put this knowledge into practice.

After four sessions which took us six weeks, I was at a completely different point than I have been before. I was calmer, I let go of my uneasiness and began to be more solution-oriented. The problems just began to disappear one by one and the disagreements stopped suddenly as I tried to understand them instead of fighting them. When I started to ask this question: ‘Where do I do this?’ without blaming myself, I realized how I overburdened myself and others. I began to communicate with some elders of the family whom I was estranged from for months. Not only I was softened about some issues that I have been quite stubborn about, I also found solutions for them.

I was just alienated from life and thinking about divorcing when I first saw Hakan. It’s about to be four months now as I write these lines. We overcame the problems we had about my husband’s family and began to make some strong plans for the future. The circumstances started to change as I changed my reactions. My life stance and my point of view have changed. I understood that whatever happened just happened since I wanted it or didn’t want it. I am so grateful to Mr. Arabacıoğlu, who reminded me of my worth and helped me to get rid of my fears… ‘I am worthy’

Gülhan Altunsu - December 2012 - Istanbul

I gave up and left myself alone at some point. It was such a loneliness that made me regard myself unworthy, but I demanded that everyone should make me feel worthy; I became angry when I couldn’t find the approval I was looking for and this anger just led me to deadlocks. It was a loneliness in which I actually got angry to myself since I left myself all alone. And I expressed this anger in my experiences and even forgot about the real causes of my feelings of anger; I was suffocating myself through my ‘why’ questions and I never accepted taking any responsibility, looking for the guilty person in everything I went through. It was a day that I was very unhappy and angry to the people around me (it was actually me whom I was angry with) when I came across the website of Mr.Arabacıoğlu. I just dialed up the number without going through the website.

There was no answer so I sent an e-mail which said: ‘I don’t know what life coaching is, but I need someone who will tell me what to do, what I should do.’ I also covered up my weaknesses (!) and signaled that I tended to blame the people in my life, by telling how well-educated and well-equipped I was. Mr.Arabacıoğlu wrote me back: ‘You want to give the responsibility of your life to someone else, I am sorry but if you want me to tell you what to do, I can’t have any sessions with you.’ I was shocked.

What else should a life coach do other than telling me what to do? He called me after a while since he saw the missed call in his call list. He didn’t know that I was the person whom he just answered in the e-mail and he asked me what we could together. I told him that I was the person who wrote the e-mail but I tried to explain him that I wasn’t avoiding to take responsibility, I was very unlucky, I always had to experience the worst (!) and everyone was mistreating me. As if he knew what I was going to tell, he stopped me and told me that I had to take responsibility before we started to do anything… We found a common ground and I persuaded him to have sessions with me. The first session was quite tough. He told me things that I would never want to hear, such as: ‘The world is the way it is because of the way you are.’ or ‘Like attracts like.’ I was resisting totally. But Mr. Arabacıoğlu showed me how my ego tried to protect its position in order to protect me.

First, I accepted that I was experiencing my choices. Then I changed my choices. Before, I couldn’t ask anything to anyone because I was afraid to get the answer ‘No’. He taught me to ask and demand. He taught me to thank if my demand was met, and not to get angry if it wasn’t… Through his questions, he made me realize how desperately I needed other people’s approval. He helped me to enjoy the happiness of self-approval. Then he taught me to give without expecting in return. I realized that the giver is always superior than the receiver.

He made me let go of the rage I had inside and helped me to meet my real self through the meditation practices. I directed my attention to myself, I loved myself. Then everyone around me began to like me more. As I appreciated myself, the people around me began to appreciate me more. I did favors without expecting anything in return and I began to experience the most favorable circumstances in my life… I have never been a victim actually; I just didn’t know how else I could receive the compassion that the victims receive.

Mr. Arabacıoğlu has taught me how I could satisfy my needs. And I now satisfy my need of love, respect and confidence on my own. Even my walking posture is straighter. My voice has changed. I am not afraid of the ‘no’answer any more and I can tell my demands. I thank if my demands are met and I don’t get angry if they aren’t. Because I now know what my ‘love language’ is, I learn about other people’s love languages and I act accordingly.

Mr. Arabacıoğlu has taught me a lot. He answered every e-mail, every question. He always told the truth instead of flattering me. I learnt so many new things that it is impossible to write them all here… But here’s what I would like to share specifically: He told me to be happy. Being happy is really something that’s learnt. I found my treasure of happiness. I am so thankful to him for that. I wish that all of you can find your treasures of happiness…
Burcu E., Ankara - July 2012

The Torch

After years of an expat life, I decided to move to Istanbul with my two children and start a new life, far away from my ex-husband. The first couple of months were excitingly new and seemed to take a pace I wished for. However, what I did not realise was, that I had no control over my new life. Things happened the way I did not want them to.  I met people that were just not right for me.

My devastating legal divorce battle was still not over and seemed to get nastier each day that passed, topped by my diminishing financial means to an existential minimum with no prospect of a regular income. Plus I got entangled in an unhealthy relationship that sucked the last bit out of me and drained me to exhaustion.

Without me being really aware of the road I took, I suddenly found myself in a dead-end street with total darkness, tremendous emotional pain and unbearable sufferance. Blinded by my pain, and the feeling of not being loved, I detached myself more and more from my true inner self and disguised my decreasing self-esteem in arrogance and ignorance.  Like an unguided missile I was close to collision.

I knew I needed to change and take the reins. However, I did not know how and where to start.
Then Hakan walked into my life, equipped with patience, serenity, love and perseverance. He asked me questions. Questions that shook me, woke me up, twirled and whirled me around. Questions that opened hidden treasure boxes and made my biggest fears look so simple to tackle. Questions that I never thought of asking myself. Questions that suddenly showed me another dimension, new horizons that I was not able to see before.

All those questions had one purpose: put gradually light on things that I could not see with my pain-blinded eyes or did not dare to look at for the fear of facing the un-known. For weeks and months Hakan took the torch and illuminated my darkness. He helped me to find the solutions and answers within me. I started to change, with it my life, my reality changed and took a course I guided.  I started to see my own value, increased my self-esteem, made peace with the past, learned to stand on both of my feed and took road towards my financial abundance. The precious gift I received from Hakan is, while living my life, perceiving everything that surrounds me with awareness, elucidation, compassion, love and gratitude, …..and most of all, thanks to Hakan, I learned to love myself, the bases of every true love.

Thank you again for today's session and life lesson you kept on shining on. Yet one step further in tiding up my rubbles and advancing in my perception for joy, abundance and love, I feel deeply grateful for the fact that you are part of my life. An important part! A part that makes me grow beyond the imaginable, or at least what I have believed to be imaginable. Thanks to you I come closer to myself and feel the healing light pervading into my life and the live's of the ones that are so dear to me. Thank you for your energy, patience and unconditional love you shine upon my path of growth. May the love for life and the light of wisdom always attract the right people into your surrounding.

Lots of love

What kind of life is this?

In spite of the successes I had achieved so far in my life of 31 years, it struck me that I had no life goals, leaving me no further than square one in the game. I had a stable career, a healthy child, and a marriage that continued to exist on autopilot, my husband interested in anything and everything but me.

Yet I had no goals. What was my purpose for living?

It was, it seems to me, to fulfill the expectations of the people around me... Telling my boss what he wanted to hear, behaving as my husband wanted to see me behaving, and meeting my parents’ endless expectations of me while acting as though all of these were my own choices, the fact was that I wasn’t living the life I wanted to live or making my own choices. So who was controlling my life? Since it wasn’t me, it was, it seemed, everyone but me!

What’s more is that I wasn’t able to please anyone in the true sense. Doing all I could as that self-styled “ideal person”, I would eventually reach my limit and explode. I was thoroughly miserable. The most I could do was blame the other party and always look to others to find where the problem lay. In spite of being such a well-intentioned and successful person, I really was unfortunate. I was surrounded by lousy people. Was it really possible for life to be so insufferable? Poor me... The people around me really didn’t deserve to have me in their lives.

Then I met Hakan. What he did consisted in nothing more than asking questions. I call these hammer questions. Each one of them had the effect of making you feel as though you’d just been hit over the head with a hammer. These were the type of questions which, when faced, would shatter the lens through which you’ve come to look at some aspect of your life, showing you it was possible to replace it with some other lens. For two months, Hakan wrestled with me with these questions. He helped me to see that relationships, the decisions we make, and the very life we live are not a pre-fabricated, that everything in life can change, but above all, that it is we who must be the first to change. 
 
What changed? Everything! My entire life, in other words. I have a fabulous job where I feel proud of my contributions and that I look forward to adding something new to every day. Don’t get me wrong – I’m still working in the same position at the same place. What’s changed isn’t my job, but me. I have a husband who I look forward to talking to when I get home in the evenings, in whom I take shelter as the man I love and as my true life partner. My husband, who used to have no shortage of reasons (excuses?!) for spending time away from home has begun to love staying in! Yes, I’m still married to the same man who was interested in anything and everything but me just two months ago. I haven’t changed my husband, I’ve changed myself. Before you is a person who is genuinely doing what she wants to be doing, who believes in herself, who now is aware of her purpose for living, and who for these reasons can truly be said to be living the prime of her life. And should you ask what it is that’s changed in my life, it is as I have said before: I am the one who’s changed...

H. V., Top Executive in a Multinational Company

Entering a coaching relationship with Hakan was one of the best investments I’ve made in my business and personal development to date.

In a short period of time, he identified my energy-wasting efforts and least profitable activities and helped me prioritize my actions that resulted in an immediate return.

He has the uncanny ability to get to the heart of my challenge. He helped me adjust my perspective and think strategically about a given problem or issue. He questioned my line of thinking and that enabled me to step back and look at my life from a different perspective.

He is very supportive, open and flexible and has a lot of resources and knowledge. He provided practical, down-to-earth solutions for my real problems. Hakan showed me that it is possible to live the life I want, to really believe in myself.

I'm already successful, but I found that with Hakan's adept, insightful, and intuitive questioning, he could bring me toward a deeper insight into who I thought I was. I had 12 sessions with Hakan. In almost all the session I had major AHA moments.

The overall realization in our sessions can be summed up by saying that he made me re-discover the joy I misplaced in my life. He has been a huge catalyst for the phenomenal growth of my personal and business life. I’m now positioned for rapid growth. I’m enjoying my life again and I'm on track to finding the elusive freedom I was looking for.

I predict that Hakan will soon become a very successful and in-demand global coach. Do yourself a favor, hire Hakan - he's worth every bit of money you can spend.

Ken LaDéroute, Coach, Musician, USA - March 2010
Clarity Mind Coaching

I am 54 years old former top executive with 16 years experience of working in big international companies.

Since September 2009 I started my new journey of becoming a professional business coach through my training with International Coaching Academy (ICA).

A wonderful new world opened for me and time came to decide which way to go. Therefore I chose to make a drastic change in my career and gave up my executive one to the more fulfilling and calling private business as a professional coach.

Inside the training program, the International Coaching Academy is including a support offered by more advanced students to the beginners by coaching them for a certain number of sessions.

So being involved in this very challenging new endeavor, I took the opportunity and looked for a coach to support me, through a tool offered by ICA called “Discussion board“. There, either the new students or the more advanced ones are posting their announcements. Looking through them in the search for my coach, I was pleasantly attracted by the announcement of Hakan and contacted him for asking to be my coach. And he accepted, as he later on explained to me, being challenged by the situation to be coaching a much elder person and a much more experienced one than himself, coming also from a different culture.

I may say I was very inspired to choose Hakan, because look what happened:

• When we started, I was very much concerned about the marketing tools I would use for promoting my new business ; Hakan is a very experienced person in the  field of internet marketing and he very generously offered his full support and knowledge to me.
• I was having a lot of “not being enough prepared “ of “not knowing enough“ thoughts which tended to block my progress in starting practicing coaching with clients; he very gently and strongly made me realize the big potential which was latently already existing in me just waiting to be fully expressed, empowering and energizing me to fully play the new game I chose.
• At the beginning he asked me: “What would be the measure of the efficiency of our coaching process?” Without any second thought I said: “to have at least one paying client“. You know what happened? Just before our last session, I cashed the first payment from a client; from zero to the first paying client in just three months.

All in all, being coached by Hakan was a very enriching and wonderful journey, which brought clarity, efficiency and a lot of fun in my new life quest.

Thank you Hakan for being who you are.

Costel Coravu, Harmony & Business Coach, Romania - January 2010

Before I got to know Hakan Arabacioglu, I was all the time desiring things, I took actions with no control at all and I did not believe in the mere possibility that my wishes would come true. Thus, I was making attempts for things but as I started thinking about them, I was assuring myself that the result would be a negative one; sometimes the result indeed would be just as I had expected, negative that is, without me realising how. I had aspirations in life but they were rather ambiguous. With prejudices such as “it never happens”, “impossible”, I was making possible things, impossible. Thus, I had turned into someone wishing for many things but hardly spending an effort to achieve them. Then I somehow got to know Hakan Arabacioglu. As this Life Coaching concept was emerging slowly in Turkey, I thought 'may be a life coach is what I really need'. I wrote him just so, not genuinely believing that this scattered picture could be put back in order again. Who could do what for me anyway? It would only take me to do something for myself. However, I knew that successful people kept some power and knowledge to themselves and that they also had a life coach for themselves.

Lazy people run away from tasks and duties most of the time, they always have their excuses, they somehow develop a fake self assurance that make them say “I will do it some day” but I was not lazy at all as I was working with Hakan Arabacioglu because here I was working with a life coach that motivated me without taking the heart out of me and helped me discipline my thoughts with full patience. I practiced wholeheartedly because all was about me and for me. I no longer was searching for something outside. It was giving me more and more power to work with a coach that helped me look into myself and see the strength in me, he assisted me in realising most of the strength I had in me with an attitude as if he was not doing anything in particular.

After having worked with Hakan Arabacioglu, many things in my life have changed for the good with an increasing momentum. The phrase 'now has come the time to take action' never crossed my mind because I had already started taking action and started my way towards my goals with the first hello I said to Hakan. Life coach Hakan Arabacioglu first of all gets to know the person he works with; he gives you confidence so that you never feel exhausted as you head for your goal. It is as if everything happens by itself. After having improved my awareness, I have come to realise that it was actually me setting all these hurdles on my way; and again it was me clearing them from my way and heading for my goal as I wished to do so. Now I have positiever ve ideas about how and when I will be able to realise my aspirations and I have started taking steps for that. I am actually seeing them being realised already. You would ask whether this whole thing is a miracle if I told you all. Now I know my path to follow and I have my peace of mind. I am grateful for having met and worked with Mr Arabacioglu. Everything is so different than before. Since I do not want to disclose all my secrets for success, I strongly recommend you to meet Hakan Arabacioglu and start working with him as soon as possible.

Deniz Ozcetin, General Manager, Training Coordinator - January 2009

I started working with Hakan at a stage when I was not entirely content with my life but then again I did not know how or from where to start to change all of this. I felt that everything in my life was falling apart; I was going through financial difficulties and was not able to take control of anything. It seemed that I would at some stage be able to resolve all of this by myself easily: all I had to do was to stay by myself for a while, chat with friends and ultimately wait for a solution. However, sometimes comes such a moment that none of these work. Then what you have to do is come up with a solution rather than waiting for a solution to arrive itself and you have to do it at once. For that reason, I needed someone professional who would be able to look at my life from the outside and help me change it all.

Thus started our eight-week-journey with Hakan and just as I expected, he approached totally in an objective manner and helped me realise this transformation by leaving the control of things all to me. I overcame my financial difficulties, even reached figures I would not have imagined; I MYSELF started choosing people and events rather than they choosing me. I took control of things and started carrying on building up my life from where I had left. I quit seeing people that pulled me all the way down, avoided events that had the same effect on me; I even quit smoking and got on with it.

While all this was happening, Hakan listened to me patiently, presented me all the cast-iron ideas and views that I had long hung on to so that I could replace them with new, fresh ones. He helped me see that things I wailed over and regarded as difficulties of life in the past were actually things that I had myself created. He brought out some attributes of mine into daylight that I had not known of and showed me how to make it to my goal step by step. But while doing all of these, Hakan enabled me to actively take charge and make this transformation by myself and he just walked with me as a perfect guide would do. He never preached me, he never divided the world into two clear parts as right and wrong, he was solely and completely my consultant.

It seems to me so that Hakan does not only coach you during the sessions but also functions like a channel  and presents the knowledge that you really need. I suppose this talent of his is related not only to his nature but also to the fact that he has been working on healing and meditation for many years and that he has reached a certain level of consciousness in his own life. There is a distinctive character in him; he shares with you all that he has. In the end, you become the master of your own life and at the same time you get healed during the process. Don't forget-everyone needs some help sometimes, so do admit it and enjoy it.

H. O., September 2008